I am taking a step back from London.
It’s like that post I wrote back in the summer. I’ve had quite the shift this week, but I can’t find a way to start telling you!?
So here it is: I was meant to be flying out to Dubai next week and now I am not.
I am moving back to my mum’s for a little bit.
Mumma T is awesome. She said to me that she would pick me up with my stuff and we would thrash everything out over the weekend. I love her so much.
She said to me, get it sorted and then blog about it. And while I was actually going to do just that – I love her even more for thinking about it.
So here is the situation.
I booked to fly out to Dubai back in September, and I was half going to see my friend but also was going to take my CV and see if I could get a job out there too.
However, as time went on, I couldn’t save the money as easily as I was hoping to and to be honest the idea of it slowly became quite tiring mentally, for me.
Now don’t get me wrong, I L O V E to travel and go on adventures! But I became surprisingly less excited as time went on, and then I came to quite the revelation: I am tired of running.
I realised I was trying to run from reality. I was still trying not to commit to something. I mean going on holiday meant I could put off getting a proper job for a while longer; getting a room; committing fully to the lovely people I coach. I have run from committing to a lot of things all my life. However, now I mentally want to stop. And commit to something.
So, I told my friend I wasn’t going and I called up the airline.
And do you know what? I felt relief. Relief, that I was putting in place a space to create a home. Not that I wasn’t going to travel ever again. But as Gloria Steinem puts it, after years of moving around, it’s so much nicer to come back to a base of sorts. A space you can call your own after those crazy adventures.
So this is it. I am staying put, and I am committing. *I’m choking up a little as I type this* Like the resolutions I began at Christmas instead of New Year’s I am beginning my projects that I want to build now and not when I get back. Because I am going nowhere.
For the first time in my life I am planting my two feet on the ground and standing strong. For you and me.
I am an entrepreneur and a creative. And this is the year I shine. The year I go for it!
And you will be the first to know.
(Anyone else thinking of the Dream Girls song “I’m not going”?! No? Just me? Ok…)
What lies down yonder road of life?
What kind of space do you want to create for yourself this year?